Losing Faith

A hectic 8 weeks. Finally the end of my Basic course.

Much has happened in such a short period of time. I’ve became disillusioned with life.

I’ve had to change my life plans a few times ever since I got enlisted.

Rejected by the 3 Universities due to my substandard GPA. I don’t really wanna go SIM. So I thought, instead of wasting my 2 years, why not sign on and realise my dreams of flying in the skies and being involved in the aviation sector?

Rejected by ‘A Force Above All’ even though I passed their rigorous tests and interviews. So that leaves one obvious reason of why I wasn’t accepted. I thought of trying out for something new, the medical division of ‘The Decisive Force’. I would be equipped with a set of skills that is useful in life and would be able to help other in times of need. A lifesaver.

Yet again, I was rejected. Even though my performance in the course was above average. Not accepted just because of a single reason. How am I not supposed to be downhearted and lose my faith in the organisation? Here I am, willing to fight for the country, but not given the chance to do so. Furthermore, I’m chosen for something which I’m not suitable for.

My fate for the next 2 years has already been decided just because of a single word in my pink IC. There’s only a single path for me to take. Can’t believe I have to endure another 13 weeks of Advanced training. Sigh.

Slowly I’m changing into a different person. For the worse, I think. Not for the better. As Rambo told me, ‘Sometimes, you’re guai. But sometimes, you’re totally fucked up’.

There’s much else for me to ponder. What am I gonna do when my 2 years up?

Lack of Time

Time is precious especially when you’re lacking it.

There’s been so much that’s been going on for the past few weeks! Too busy and exhausted to even have time to reflect. Learnt a few lessons on life from the various people and friends I’ve been working/enjoying with. I need some peaceful and relaxing moments to organise my own thoughts.

Of all colours, I had to wear purple and met my match. Lol!

Astons with Honeypie & Sugarcandy! ♥

My eyes opened. Mmm.. It was dark and raining heavily. When did I fall asleep? But it felt so good being in bed getting such a proper sleep. (I just touched down at Changi 1300hrs)

Realisation hit me. OMIGOSH! I’M SUPPOSED TO MEET HONEYPIE & SUGARCANDY FOR DINNER! Grabbed my handphone. IT’S ALREADY 6.40PM!!! Would I be able to reach NUS in time in this weather? And it’s peak hour now! (Luckily I didn’t oversleep till 8pm or sth)

Texted Sugarcandy that I would be late. Quickly showered and put on whatever I could grab. As usual, sped my way through traffic. Arrived at LT31 carpark 15 minutes late. Saw them at the foyer. Uh-oh, I’m definitely under-dressed compared to the 2 beautiful ladies. Dang. (Why am I always under-dressed when meeting them?)

Had a cheap and good dinner at Astons Jurong East. Honeypie thought we would be going to the restaurant outlet at Cathay. (Oops, another mistake on my part). Heh. Somehow I was quite quiet throughout dinner, just listening to their chatter.

May I repeat your order Miss Honeypie? Prime Ribeye X’tra Cut, done Medium Rare with sides of Pasta Salad & Onion Rings.

For Miss Sugarcandy, it’s Beef Bolognese Spaghetti with Soup of the Day.

And lastly Mr Azam, yours is Crispy Fried Fish with sides of Pasta Salad and Baked Potato.

Channel5 was showing a Michael Jackson performance.
Honeypie: Is this live?
LOL! Technically it’s a Live in Concert la.

Honeypie drove herself home in my Jazz from Sugarcandy’s place. Hahas.. Sugarcandy had actually alighted, but boarded the car again just to experience Honeypie’s driving! Honeypie kept saying she’s stressed to drive her friends, but hey, she did quite good compared to other lady drivers. She’s confident of her driving I must say. 

Honeypie getting ready to drive my Jazz in her heels!

And we safely reached her place!

Hehe.. It was great to finally meet up with the 2 beautiful ladies. Sugarcandy, hope you like the dress I gave you as an advance birthday present! =)

Teaser

Ain’t she gorgeous? Good figure too..

F70 EXR

Have you seen my new baby? Finally I bought for myself a new camera! Been depending on my trusted Nokia N82 for months, but the quality can’t be compared to a real digicam. I’m still sad that I lost my Canon Powershot S5IS though. It has been with me to all the places I travelled. But here’s the beginning of my journey with my Fujifilm F70EXR!

Contemplated saving up further for a dSLR, but I realised I would be carrying a compact most of the time. So I’m S$469 poorer now, but it’s a steal at that price. Trying to be adventurous by not using a Canon. Heh.

Shall we head to the beach dear?

POP lo!

After a gruelling 13 weeks of training, I have finally passed out as the Scorpions 03/09 batch!

It’s definitely been tough, but I managed to survive and pull through. It was difficult at first being in an environment where I’m the only few Malays and being bombarded with racist jokes left right centre, but it was all in the name of fun and laughters. I truly enjoyed my time there as it was all due to the people around me, my comrades and superiors who made the trainings seem easier with all the fun we had.

Heck, I even managed to pass my IPPT (could have gotten Silver if not for my multiple failures at Standing Broad Jump!). I earned everyone’s respect after surviving the 12km and 16km route march and parade rehearsals in the hot weather while fasting. People would keep asking me, ‘eh, you drink water already?’. I would just shake my head as my throat would be damn dry by then. It’s really mind over body. I was in a zombie state by the 10km mark, but I just kept pushing myself to proceed.

Even though we’re in the most welfare and slack company since we’re looked after by Warrant Officers and have ladies in our midst, we did pretty well compared to the other companies. It’s all due to our self discipline and motivation.

Talking about the ladies, I do have lots of admiration for them. Future officers they are, it ain’t easy to work in a male dominated environment and having to prove themselves everytime. Some struggled, but still managed to be on par or perform even better than some of us guys. Especially proud of my Andersonian junior. I didn’t know her back then in secondary school actually, but it’s through this small connection that we bonded. Heh. The only unfair part? They’re earning thousands while we only get a paltry allowance, and we went through the same thing. Of course, I’m still envious of the female pilot. Such a cool gal. And oh, you should have seen them dance. Those sexy moves.. woohoo!

Yes Platoon4 Section4, I love you guys and I’m so gonna miss the moments we had together. A wonderful time we had together indeed. =)

You can’t imagine my joy when my mum actually came. =)

Muscular men after 13 weeks!

Proud of you my dear junior! Just don’t pump me when we next see each other kays! :p

I’m so glad that I was in Section4. Right guys? =)

Thank You

By Lee Ming Wei, S4407 (my dear buddy)

It’s amazing that out of the whole teenage population in Singapore we managed to get into the same company.

It’s even more amazing that out of all the 4 platoon in Scorpion Company, we managed to get into the same platoon.

And it’s really amazing that out of the 4 section in a platoon, we managed to get into the same section. I bet you guys know how to do your maths and you know how low the chances are. For that, we are known as “Bunk mates” to the outside world of Tekong.

On our enlistment day, we’re all freaking losers who failed IPPT (except for some bitches who didn’t), bonded by the same destiny that we are going to face for the coming 13 weeks ahead of us.

We’ve been through happy moments and of course, we’ve been through shit (field camp). Along the way we get to know each other better, from just talking we advanced to a level where we even made body contacts.

I’ve got to admit that I had a really fun and enjoyable (sounds so primary school) experience throughout my BMT days. Not because of the training, but because of you people.

In these short 13 weeks, I got to know you guys like the back of my hand and I bet you guys know me very well too. Though you guys are really fucking pussies some times but I don’t hate you guys because I am a fucking pussy too.

Thank you guys for giving me a good start in my army life and I hope you guys too had a good start like I did.

Our journey doesn’t end here and it’s just the beginning.

See you guys in OCS, SISPEC, Unit or the worst, guardsmen.

May the bond and journey we went through in these short 13 weeks serve a purpose in our lives in the near future.

It really had been a fruitful 13 weeks knowing you guys.

Thank you.

Some of our gay moments in bunk.

Hurt

Tears. Down my cheeks. Out of a sudden.

Photos. Reminds you of the happy moments you had. HAD. With the people whom you love dearly.

Overreact? Perhaps I did. All these years, I’ve been by his side, supporting him through thick and thin. But has he been by my side when I needed him most? I’m still wondering what I’ve done wrong. But I know I deserve better.

I guess I’m lucky enough to have Naseera, Santi, Marya, Xueting, Jiayi, Jason & Starshea being my pillar of support when the chips are down. Can’t thank them enough. But they do have their own lives to lead and I can’t expect them to be there for me all the time.

My first bestfriend betrayed me. My first love, ditched me for another guy. My recent bestfriend chucked me aside after patching up with his girlfriend. My parents hardly care about my life.

It hurts. HURTS. Even though I’ve accepted the fact that I’m destined to be alone. Desperate for a girlfriend? Perhaps. But I’m only craving for companionship. Who doesn’t?

Imagine coming home to an empty house. Imagine having a meal all by yourself. Imagine going shopping or to the movies alone. That’s me alright. I’m used to it and was happy by myself. So when exactly did my happiness started being dictated by other people?

My number one wish is an impossibility. An elder sister and a younger brother.

If I can’t find love at home, if I can’t find love outside, tell me where can I find love?

I realised my life remained the same after 3 years. There’s still the absence of love. I’m giving up hope.

Does God Exist?

Ramadhan

Spent my first day of fasting at SMU for my SGP F1 Race Officials training. Heh. I’m in the equipment team yet again! It’ll be fun to work under Anthony and Siew Yen again this year. Please please please, I hope I’ll be excused from training to take part. It’s still a duty for the nation. SSC, save me from SAF!

Hm.. For the past few years, I’ve always had a major event during the fasting month. In Sec 3, I was climbing Mt Kinabalu. Year 2, I was at Outward Bound Taiwan. Last year, I had F1 Singapore GP. And this year, I’ll be fasting in camp! Gosh. Food, I can definitely endure and go without. But lack of water under such hot conditions and tough trainings? Insyallah I’ll be able to persevere. I’ve always survived anyways.

Though this year the fasting month doesn’t seem so significant to me. I’ve been getting less religious. My iman and taqwa has been shaken.

Lady Pilot

“You’re an Air Force Pilot???!!!”
“Yeah, I’ll be the jet fighter pilot.”

Pardon me for being suaku, but it’s my first encounter up close with a female pilot. Gosh.. I’m so envious of her. She already has her Private Pilot License (PPL) wings and now on the way of being a fighter pilot, perhaps the F15-SG. I admire her for following her passion and her determination and tenacity to achieve her dreams. It ain’t easy being the only rose among the thorns.

Me? I’m nowhere near my dreams of being a pilot. I regret not joining SYFC during poly. But no, I’m not interested to be a fighter pilot. I’m just being pragmatic and I know my chances are low, especially since I’m a Malay. But to be a commercial airline pilot, yes, I’m still working on it. Even AirAsia will do if I don’t get Singapore Airlines.

She has PPL wings!!!

One day I shall see her up in the skies.

Outfield

I realised I haven’t even watch this year’s National Day Parade! How pathetic is that, compared to the fact that I was involved in NDP for the past 3 years. Heh.

I was stuck in camp for the past 2 weeks coz of my outfield. Bleah. Imagine being exhausted and dirty all that and we still have to continue with normal training without being able to book out and recharge our bodies. I handwashed my uniforms at least 3 times and the water still came out murky.

Most memorable experience was that I became Platoon IC during the tactical period. (Meaning we have to keep low profile and avoid detection by the enemy). How stressful is that. Unable to shout with everyone scattered around in their shellscrapes, yet I’ve to ensure they get the message that I pass down. Anything wrong and I sure kena punished. Heh. It rained during the last night, so there goes all our stuff getting muddy. As a result, my whole body also got washed in mud the next morning during battle course. It was damn difficult to clean my rifle after that.

Hafta admit though, it wasn’t as physically intimidating as what my friends recounted their experiences to me. Even by my standards, it was quite slack. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that we have ladies in our midst. (Oh, don’t be surprised, some of them are fitter than the guys).

The worse part is that I now have a fungal infection on my feet. I never had it before in my life. Its quite disgusting la. I was promoted to Recruit Major (RMJ) since I’m excused from Running Marching Jumping for 2 days. Hehe..

YUCKS!!!

Even though I was quite exhausted after the 2 weeks, I still went out straightaway after reaching home and dumping my clothes into the washing machine. Hehe.. Finally some my section mates are able to meet up after weeks of postponement. As usual, there’s always some people who pangseh-ed.

Wahlao, Ern Leng spent half of his NS allowance to get a bracelet for his girlfriend sia. But it’s nice la, though I never heard of the brand before. Too high class for me perhaps? After that it was an enjoyable gossip session at Shokudo Food Street. The food was alright I guess, but the portion was not value for money. The last time I ate at Shokudo Pasta, it wasn’t up to my standards. Heh. It’s the company that counts. =)

Isn’t Rosti a Swiss dish? It was too plain.

This Jap omelette was quite tasty. My fav.

Sergeant Ming Wei with Polar and Ern Leng

Platoon 4 Section 4 yeah!

Scorpion Platoon 4! =)

National Day UP!

It’s the first time in years that I’m not involved in NDP and it felt kinda weird. Hahas.. I miss being at the Marina platform and being part of the celebrations!

I was already at Wheelock early in the morning. To purchase a product which I’ve been longing for years. Finally my dad agrees to share costs with me. There goes the money in my bank account yet again. And there’s still the digital camera that I’ve yet to get for myself.

Thus I was late to pick up Xueting. Hahas.. Turns out that the rest were late as well and the birthday girl Jeslyn was not coming due to hangover! Why is our gathering always at Seoul Garden huh?

Had a great time catching up with Jason, Sunny, Zhi Zhan, Belinda and Xavier. Most of the talk was about army and we could see that Xueting was bored. Heh. We celebrated a belated birthday for Sunny and he didn’t even know who we’re singing the birthday song for. Lol!

Where’s Zhi Zhan???

We caught the movie UP! in 3D. It was my virgin 3D experience and the movie was quite good! It has an interesting yet sad storyline with the usual comical moments. Sunny and me kept seeing elements of SOC in the movie, like the low rope and parallel bars. Hahas!

Gaying with Sunny

Modern 3D effects are so cool!

We had TCS (talk cock session) at Starbucks after the movie. Now I know the reason why iPod Touch is so popular. It’s due to the games that you can play with it! Xueting, Jason and Xavier kept competing with each other to see who’s the most taptap zai! Honeypie called while sugarcandy was busy playing, so I picked it up. She couldn’t recognise my voice! Sobs

Someone so engrossed in playing!

Can’t believe I spent around 10 hours just at Marina Square/Suntec City. But since the company was awesome and fun, who cares? :p

Malay Essay

Found this Malay essay written by a P4 kid from Nasirah’s facebook. His imagination ran wild. Heh. Hilarious!

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip.

Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu. Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya.

Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar, saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang. Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu ternampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya.

Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua. Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia. Lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara.

Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu. Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhampas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah.

Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi!” dan jatuh ke bumi.

Emak saya menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balikke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati.

Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuannya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati.

Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik sahaja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

Honeypie’s 19th!

Her birthday was on the 29th, but I was in camp. Heh. (Totally forgot that Kobkab’s birthday on the same day too. Wonder if she’s mad at me.)

So I dropped by Honeypie’s place last night to give her birthday present. Guess what I did this time round?

Doraemon Shoes! Limited Edition!

Actually I didn’t really know what to get for her this year. Then I remembered Genevieve wearing the Spongebob shoes, so that’s where my inspiration came from. Luckily I was able to get Nadia to help me out. (My art sucks la, even though I have the creative ideas). Thanks so much babe!

Pretty shoes for the pretty lady. It matches with her pink dress!

The two of us! (Look at all her Doraemon stuff in the background)

Happy 19th Birthday Honeypie! Hope you like the shoes and enjoy your uni life! Stay happy as always yea. =)